OoM

[hallelujahpilot]

She's drunk.

She thinks she's drunk.

No.

Stop.

She's numb and dizzy and nothing seems real and all she can taste is whiskey. Ergo, she is drunk.

She was numb. But she's reached the point of drunk where the whole 'numb' thing is starting to wear off.

Carl's room is closer, but she would have gone to his door instead of hers even if she'd had to go to the other end of Milliways.

She knocks, rests her head against the doorframe. She's wearing just shorts and a tank, and it's actually starting to be cold.

She knocks again. "Carl, you there?"

Comments

[hallelujahpilot]

"I...yeah. I think so. We weren't that close when I left, but. Yeah." She takes a deep breath, shifts even closer. "We...we know we probably weren't gonna...you know. See each other. Or turn up. To. Funerals. I knew that when I left." Another deep breath, this one shakier. "I don't even know what the hell I'm feelin'."

[one_man_army]

"With a 20 year gap, and both of you enlisted...you'd almost have to prepare for that before you left."

He's sure she did, but that's not the point. He sobers slightly; shakes his head.

"You don't have to know. And y'probably won't for awhile." He knows that she knows that, too, but it doesn't hurt to say it.

[hallelujahpilot]

"I know. I just got nothin' to do. When Momma was killed, I mean, I had to organize everythin'. But now. It's just, okay, thanks. Thanks for lettin' me know.

Now what do I do."

[one_man_army]

"Is there...anyone back home you need to get in contact with? I don't know how often you touch base back to Earth." He's almost a little apologetic in tone, because he feels like this is something he should know.

(Even if they've never talked about it, just like they've never talked about a lot of other things like this.)

[hallelujahpilot]

"No. I get....letter, I guess you might call it, 'bout once a year. And I'll reply when I get it." She frowns and then pushes herself up - slowly, carefully, hand on his shoulder to balance herself.

"I'll be...I'll be okay. But, um." There is a flicker of a smile. "I'm probably gonna sound selfish, but I'm...I'm glad you're out."

[one_man_army]

Carl shakes his head.

"It's not selfish."

She cares about him. She doesn't want him to end up a rank and file on a manila folder in some dark office. She wants to see him come home at the end of the day.

"It's human."

[hallelujahpilot]

"Well," she says ruefully, "I am that. Don't think androids get drunk."

[one_man_army]

"Don't know about that," he admits. "This is the end of the universe. Who knows what else is possible."

He shifts on the couch and stretches out his legs, allowing her to curl up on him like a cat would curl up on a sunny window-ledge, once he's laid back. He doesn't mind her weight on him (not like it's much, anyways) and this way she can feel every heartbeat in his chest and every breath in his lungs.

He's quiet for a minute or two until he finds more words.

"Is there...anything that I can do? Do you need anything?"

[hallelujahpilot]

For a moment, she's silent, too, doing nothing but soaking him in, listening to him, memorising exactly how he smells and what the weight of his arms around her is like.

"Just...talk to me? I can't. I'm. I'm having a little trouble with silence right now."

[one_man_army]

"I get that," he nods.

(He had plenty of trouble with silence on the flight home from Germany, sitting in that cargo plane with fourteen flag-draped caskets strapped to their pallets.

And sitting in his kitchen three days later, watching the clock on the coffeemaker slowly click over the minutes from two, three, and four am.

He gets it.)

"Have I ever told you about...let's see." He thinks for a moment, trying to think of something to distract her from her thoughts -- and trying to stay away from family and Delta, for obvious reasons. "The first time I flew a chopper?"

This is a fun story.

[hallelujahpilot]

That, at least, gets a smile.

"Nope."

[one_man_army]

Carl smiles, just a little.

"Y'see, the flight instructor that I'd been workin' with for the last few months in the sims thought it would be hilarious, on my first run up in the cockpit, to throw me a hydraulic pressure alarm..."

(He knows she'll know how much 'fun' that kind of flight can be.)



He keeps talking until she drops off from exhaustion -- and even then, he doesn't move, just pulls the blanket up over her legs and allows his eyes to close.

"I got you."